Nobel Prize Committee Should Be Gored

Heck, if this guy can win a million-dollar prize for flying around in private jets, taking limousines everywhere he goes, burning mucho gallons of oil heating his oversize mansion and then tell everyone else they are screwing up the planet, why can't I get in on this deal?

Liberal or conservative leanings aside, you have to admit Gore doesn't need a 10,000-square-foot house in the Belle Mead area of Nashville, Tenn., that used 221,000 kilowatt-hours of electricity in 2006, more than 20 times the national average of 10,656 kwh. Don't get me wrong. If he likes to be separated from the rest of the small family he has with that kind of space, have at it. But it's just a bit hypocritical that he then urges average Joes to conserve energy in their modest houses. Remember, Gore spent a combined $30,000 in electricity and gas bills for his mansion in 2006. And this doesn't account for the fuel for the private jets and the limousines.

So, I think it's time to start a campaign for next year's prize and I need your help.

I'm convinced that my lifetime body of work in the channel where I have defended solution providers' rights to make a profit and worked diligently to enlighten all vendors that the indirect channel is not only efficient but the best sales method in the world deserves a unanimous vote by the Nobel Peace Prize committee.

Over the past two decades, I've sat with virtually every significant CEO in this industry and talked turkey about why they need to invest in you, my brethren and audience. I went toe to toe with Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer in the early days and they came around. I single-handedly convinced John Chambers at Cisco to drop his direct efforts and move it all through the channel. I stood former Compaq CEO Eckard Pfeiffer down when he tried to buy Gateway and forced him to give up. I called Carly Fiorina to task for chasing the direct business.

I've met them all and have been victorious on your behalf except in one place. I have been trying for 20 years to convince Michael Dell. Now even he may be coming around.

So please join my campaign and write the Nobel Prize committee and help impress on them all I have done and the fact that I, Bob Faletra, may not have invented the Internet but I did invent the channel and as such deserve the prize next year.

What do you think about Al Gore winning the Nobel Peace Prize?
Make something happen. E-mail CMP Channel Group President Robert Faletra at [email protected].