At Last! How To 'Erase' Any Chance Of Missing Your Business Objectives!
I was bouncing around crn.com last week and came across a story about Xerox's invention of self-erasing, reusable paper for printers.
Wow, I thought incredulously, there are tons of uses that I can think of for paper that erases itself.
The best part about this invention is that it apparently self-erases in just a day, and the paper can be used over and over. Xerox studies apparently concluded that a lot of documents are printed for brief one-time viewings. So now, erasable paper and a printer that can handle it are on the drawing board.
Quite frankly, the story got my head spinning and not because I'm a tree-hugger who thinks this puzzling invention could eliminate the need to ever cut another sapling.
Consider, if you will, how really good lawyers could use this amazing product! Heck, if you're a gold-digger and your filthy stinking-rich spouse-to-be wants you to sign a pre-nuptial agreement that renders you penniless if you ever leave the old fart, offer to draft the pre-nup yourself and come to the signing proud to confess it's all about love and you are more than willing to walk away without a nickel in a divorce. A quick peck on the wrinkly cheek of your significant other at the signing, followed by your bold John Hancock on this special paper, perhaps even a hot wax seal to show your true love, and you are off to the races. Don't forget to print duplicates. If the other side is going to wind up with a blank document, you need to have one, too, in order to prove the whole deal was an empty promise!
And wait, this could finally be the technology that puts an end to all this political correctness that has invaded the workforce! Heck, this may even kick up your ability to be completely offensive to everyone around you. All you need to do is stop using e-mail and instead go back to the days when a memo from the boss used to come in an interoffice envelope.
Print away on the erasable paper and widely circulate your own memo in which you call the boss a &*%$# son of a $%&* and the biggest *&$#@ to ever run a respectable organization. Slip it under everyone's door before they get to work in the morning and relax. By the time HR has huddled together and gathered with the legal department about how to handle your memo, it will have been erased and you are off the hook. Better yet, you can look them in the eye and claim harassment, file a lawsuit and retire wealthy.
Now, think of the business opportunity here for you as a solution provider. I mean, you should be selling this technology to middle management inside every organization in the world!
Here's your pitch to prospects: "Let me show you how I can use technology to completely clean out your in basket within 24 hours and get you an enormous raise. All you as a middle manager have to do is approve the purchase of my printer/paper combination and make sure IT installs it in the boss' office. Then tell the CEO he isn't working you hard enough and that anything that arrives in your in basket will be dealt with 24 hours later." Sound convincing?
Heck, just think what could have been if this invention was around when Enron was imploding.
Sorry, I have to end this daydreaming session right here. The boss just walked into my office and is asking why I have two printers. I haven't got the nerve to tell him that the one on the right (aka, the erasable wonder!) is the one I'll use to print out the revised forecast that I'm willing to commit to meeting if he'll agree to increase my compensation plan, which I'll print from the "traditional" printer on the left.
What do you make of this puzzling invention? Make something happen by contacting Bob at (781) 839-1202 or via e-mail at [email protected].