ShadowRAM: May 26, 2003

Take the missive yours truly got last week from none other than Mad Magazine. Under the subject line "Whoever smelt it dealt it %85" they offer a deal that "doesn't stink." For a mere 24 clams, you, too, can get 14 issues. And that's not all! The first 50 to answer get a fully posable Alfred E. Neuman figure. Funny, it was always Alfred E. Newman before. Is someone suing someone? And I forgot to mention that you get the "Mad Neumanisms" hardcover book. Not bad.

This offer is almost as good as the talking Homer Simpson bottle opener I got for the last spam I responded to. Of course, whether these gems are worth the pain of sorting through thousands of other junk messages is open to debate.

Speaking of spam, spam king William Waggoner made quite an impression at the FTC's Spam Forum a few weeks back. The pony-tailed, sunglassed Waggoner is probably responsible for most of the anatomy-enhancing offers that crowd your inbox every day. Despite nearly coming to blows with Google software engineer Dave DesJardins during the panel, Waggoner schmoozed the guy pretty good afterward.

Scott McNealy's and Larry Ellison's public rapprochement last week was, well, heartwarming may be too strong a word.

The Sun Microsystems and Oracle cheeses gamely tried to prove that their warhorse companies are still allies and not enemies. Scott quipped that Larry even coughed up the keys to his yacht. Larry, not one to be upstaged, said he couldn't stay long because he had to go get his yacht's locks rekeyed.

The once seemingly strong Oracle-Sun team facade has been dented lately, mostly by Ellison's loud and public boosting of Linux on Dell systems and other "commodity hardware." That put the database vendor decidedly at odds with Sun, which dragged its feet on Solaris for Intel and makes what dough it does make on pricey non-Intel boxes.

At one point, Scooter joked about buyout rumors, asking Larry if Oracle was the company that is "supposed to buy us?" Ellison answered that Oracle's quiet period precluded comment. If he did disclose any plans, he said, "it would have to stay in this room."

Making light of any Sun-Oracle strife, Ellison said, "We're promiscuous. We'll run on anything we can get our hands on." McNealy demurred: "Speak for yourself. I'm married."

Meanwhile, Groove Networks continues its push into interesting accounts. Groove chief Ray Ozzie highlights an International Crane Foundation application that lets the Wisconsin-based group work with colleagues in Russia, China and Kazakhstan to fight threats to wetlands critical to the breeding and migration of Siberian cranes.