I Think I'll Pass On The Coffee Table Computer

I arrived at work last Friday morning and as usual waited nearly 10 minutes for my Windows-based laptop to boot. I've never understood why it takes so damn long for it to get up to speed, but it got me thinking about all the electronics that turn on instantly in my living room.

ROBERT FALETRA Can be reached at (781) 839-1202 or via e-mail at rfaletra@cmp.com.

The reason the comparison is relevant is because Microsoft increasingly wants to sit in our living rooms. It's no longer enough to be in our offices and dens.

Microsoft's push into the home wouldn't bother me except for the fact that I don't want to be hassled when I'm sitting down to relax or enjoy some entertainment. The company just isn't capable of helping out here. At least not yet, anyway, because it doesn't think in terms of ease of use the way that Apple or Sony or others do.

Just the same, last week Microsoft unveiled a coffee table computer, of all things. When I first heard about it all I could think of was the "Seinfeld" episode in which Kramer invented a coffee table book that had legs and doubled as a coffee table. But after I thought more about it, I believe Kramer had the better idea.

Forgive me, but is a computerized table really something the world wants? I'm not suggesting that the company won't sell a few of these, perhaps to some hotels. But I'm pretty sure anybody who does invest in them is going to find that, ultimately, they will be used in the same way today's coffee tables are. They will be a great place to put your feet up.

A nice spot to stick a well-designed pot of dried flowers. Or perhaps a slick area to store that 50-key remote control on which you only use four buttons and get confused by the other 46.

This is just one of those times where as neat as the concept of a computerized coffee table may seem to tech-heads, it's just not something the masses want at any price.

As someone who enjoys technology and is a bit of a gadget freak, I don't want to deal with the hassle of my coffee table not working. In the end, I just want it to sit there and do nothing.

Microsoft has done some remarkable things over the years, but what it has not done is create new categories. It's very good at over time taking categories away from others who identified and built them, but it has never created one itself.

I can guarantee that we are not going to look back 10 years from now and say Microsoft's coffee table was the tipping point at which the company shifted to a creator of categories. Anyone want to wage a small bet to the contrary?

What do you want your cofee table to do?
Make something happen. E-mail CMP Channel Group President Robert Faletra at rfaletra@cmp.com.