Reporter's Notebook

On Sunday afternoon, some channel executives and IBM got a chance to shag fly balls and take batting practice with Hall of Famers Vida Blue and Willie Mays. IBM I-series general manager Buell Duncan donned a San Francisco Giants baseball jersey. Looked like everyone's baseball skills needed a little polish. "Man, is Wille old," was the memorable quote from one attendee.

IBM found itself in a pinch for an opening keynote, which usually is delivered by the company's highest-ranking executive. New CEO Sam Palmisano had a previously scheduled board meeting so he wound up serving as the closing keynote. PartnerWorld executive Peter Rowley served as the opening speaker and looked more than comfortable in the role. The morning session also featured Chicago University professor of economics Marvin Zonis, who served up more numbers than a Ross Perot election run. I'd have to hire a professional notetaker to survive his classes.

During one tech demo IBM featured a handheld device equipped with voice-recognition software the translated from English to Spanish and back again. Not bad, and it didn't crash. Should yield mucho dinero if IBM can bring it to market.

The overall theme at the conference was "Let's make a deal." One executive offered two free first-class airline tickets to a partner who could close a deal by the end of June. Another executive offered an African safari. One partner, so excited by an accommodation granted by an IBM distribution executiv,e couldn't wait to phone in the news so he did so while urinating and talking on his cell phone. It's truly a mad, mad, mad, mad world!.

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So look who was rubbing elbows--Avnet Computer Marketing's new boss Rick Hamada and Pioneer/Keylink's rather svelte-looking Bob Bailey. We caught them in the IBM executive center chiding each other about their recently quarterly results. Hamada sported a silky Avnet shirt that Bailey envied. Instead of the usual paper binders and folders, IBM handed out a preloaded Palm M105 to each attendee. The devices sell for $149 a pop, but the pocket guide was just as easy to navigate. One neat feature was the ability to download your opinions of each session when you hot synched your Pilot at one of the central synch areas.

IBM is trying to spin Web hosting and e-sourcing as e-business on demand. Not a bad shot.

At most of the general sessions, IBM executives were very well-scripted, sometimes line-by-line via teleprompter. Do you really need that to say "good morning everyone, the channel is very important to us?"

What if you threw a party and no one came? Well the heads of e-server found out Monday afternoon when they held a presentation at the cavernous main conference center that could seat thousands. VARBusiness counted around 200 or so heads. "The lights are bright and I can't see you, but it's probably a good thing considering how many people are here," said Zeitler showing he has a good sense of humor.

It wasn't just the sessions that were hurting for attention. If it weren't for all the IBMers filling seats and wall space at the press conferences in the media and analyst hall, some of the presenters would have thought they were talking to themselves. The fact wasn't lost on Marc Lautenbach, general manager for sales and distribution for IBM's small business division, who commented during one session that IBM's policy appears to be three press reps for every journalist in the room. Our question: Were they afraid of what we might write, or even worse, that we might not show up?

Speaking of a good sense of humor, IBM CEO Sam Palmisano was in a good mood before his closing keynote. He was yukking it up with us before he went on stage. His handler Laura Keeton looked a little concerned.

Meanwhile, did we catch longtime IBM marketing communications exec Bill Hughes attending some interviews with execs? Yes, that was him

Look who's back in town. Fred Tufts has returned from a stint in Europe to serve as vice president of business partner sales for the Americas. Looks like those vacations on the French Riviera served him well. Nice to have him back in the States.

Speaking of parties, Ingram hosted a shindig at the Hard Rock restaurant while Pioneer/Keylink had a reception at the Pacific Bell Park. And Monday night, Arrow's SupportNet hosted a shindig at the trendy Ruby Skye nightclub. While there we overheard one boozed-up female attendee ask a bartender if the place is usually a bit more happening, "You know, when all the tecchies aren't here."

IBM featured more than a few partner testimonials during the general sessions, including Mainline Infosystems, which got to do a plug for Campaign Manager.

IBM had more than a few technical glitches at its Beacon Awards ceremony. Seems the audio system just wouldn't cooperate. IBM rolled out the top brass for that event including the head of Lotus, Tivoli and the new distribution channels executive Gerald Karsteni, who is a martial arts expert.Speaking of experts, next year IBM should let software marketing exec Mark Hanney emcee the event rather than the pretty blonde host. But let's put that to a vote first.

At the event we caught Jim Hunt of EYT (formerly Ernst and Young Technologies) and Anne Smith of IBM's Consultants and Integrators effort sharing a table. Wonder if the issue of Enron every came up. Either way, it had to be better than taking phone calls from Hunt's other boss CompTIA exec director John Venator.

One of the best sessions we attended was iSeries GM Buell Duncan's symposium, which featured Terry Keene of Enabling Technology. He had to be better than the speaker before him who couldn't keep his wireless mic connected (that would be one of the writers of this column). Find Keene and get him in front of your salesforce. This guy knows how to sell tech but he can a little full of platitudes like You should be able to double your business with your existing accounts, Terry, if there is a VAR around who can do that today, send him my way, will ya.

Before tracking Keene down, answer this question: What is the most important word you want to hear in selling today? First 10 people to get it right and email me at [email protected] get a free VARBusiness tchotchke.

Nothing like Terraspring's Ian Bonner to crash the party. Bonner landed in San Fran and bear-hugged just about everyone he could. I think he cracked three of my ribs. Ian's as plugged in as ever!

Now that PartnerWorld is over, Angelica Horatis can breathe a little easier. She might even make it home for dinner. And finally, the best quote of the week goes to Patnerworld's Patricia Meacham, who said, "I just can't wait till 10 a.m. Wednesday."