IT Confidential: Microsoft Is Mired In Vista, Report Says

I recently came into possession of a manuscript called the Vista Study Group Report. Don't ask me how I got it: Let's just say it involved a parking garage, a cigarette-smoking man, and a code name inspired by a Robert Redford movie.

The Vista Study Group Report is a brutally honest assessment of Microsoft's marketing campaign for Windows Vista. It was solicited by Bill Gates, who is otherwise occupied, and written by a bipartisan committee of experts, including several former Microsoft executives, a retired engineer on the original IBM PC project, a federal prosecutor, a spammer, and a part-time salesman at Best Buy named Larry. The report features an executive summary and a list of 79 recommendations. Here's a sample.

Conclusion: Microsoft is engaged in one of its most aggressive campaigns to date. Before it's over, Microsoft will have spent $450 million marketing its new operating system, Vista, as well as new versions of the Office software suite and the Exchange messaging system. These recommendations are meant to clarify issues surrounding the campaign and justify its expense. Including our salaries.

NOTE: Several people have written to ask about my use of the term "spike" in regard to E-mail. According to Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, the second definition of spike, vt, is "to suppress or block completely." Spike is also an old editorial term meaning reject, nix, get out of my face, etc. In the Quark publishing system, which my company uses, we have a queue for discarded files called "Spike." But don't spike that industry tip, send it to jsoat@cmp.com or call 516-562-5326.