ShadowRAM: September 27, 2004

HP, in its desperate urge to be cool, has allied with paid hipsters such as Steve Stoute, a man David Letterman would call a former record-company weasel. Stoute emceed an HP-sponsored soiree at the MTV Video Music Awards in Miami. As The New York Times reported, Stoute is a translator of sorts who explains music's "subcultures, particularly the predominantly black world of hip-hop, to the typically middle-aged and white ranks of the corporate world and vice versa." Wait!? Carly Fiorina is not hip? Says who? Still, does someone shouting out "HP in the house" really make HP cool?

One might think HP should stick to its knitting. Like, solving its huge logistics problems. Oops. This just in: HP says it's fixing the fiasco that's plagued the vendor since June but as of last week, HP sales types were still trying to enlist partners to fulfill orders to direct accounts because HP's own peeps can't get orders filled from the vendor's sputtering distribution engine. Hey, guys, how about fulfilling such orders through the channel in the first place? Wait, maybe P. Diddy can help.

Meanwhile, IBM had its own PR glitches last week. At a dog-and-pony show in New York's trendy Tribeca Grand Hotel, the company trotted out a number of client success stories, including some from Philips Consumer Electronics and Audi's Hungarian manufacturing facilities. Ginni Rometty, who heads IBM Business Consulting Services, introduced a partnership and a video to outline it. AV glitches, however stalled the show for a good 10 minutes. "I guarantee this is not what happens to [Audi's] engines," the exasperated Rometty said.

Michael Mahan is giving the whole notion of reselling a bad name. He's the guy who spent nearly $25,000 buying up right-field seats in Dodger Stadium. His bulk buy cost him $3.50 per seat. He then resold the tix for up to $15 per"and he made buyers agree that if they caught Barry Bonds' 700th home run, he would sell the ball and split the proceeds. Mahan exempted only his family. He told the AP that 400 tickets went to charity. but still. However, there is some justice: Mr. Bonds got the big dingah--but it happened in San Fran against the Padres.

PeopleSoft's vaunted people skills surfaced again at its annual forum. The company refused to let outside photogs into the Moscone Center. Exactly what are these people afraid of?