Leadership Game-Changer: Empathy
‘Soft skills’ often get a bad rap. Most of us think of them as secondary to our primary job functions. But to be an effective leader, we have to do the hard things including work on what we term soft skills.
Confession: I hate the term “soft skills.” Honestly, there’s not a lot of things that frustrate me more than hearing skills—like communication, collaboration and empathy—explained away as secondary to the technical and operational skills a job requires. But here’s the truth: These “soft” skills are anything but soft. In reality, they’re actually some of the hardest skills to develop, and they’re absolutely critical for being an effective leader. Empathy, which is a huge part of emotional intelligence (EI), is a prime example of a “soft skill” that can completely transform how leaders drive inclusion and connect with their teams.
Reframing ‘Soft’ Skills as Critical Leadership Competencies
The term “soft skills” often makes it sound like they’re easy to pick up and don’t really matter. But the reality is, these skills are tricky to master. They take self-awareness, emotional control and consistent practice to truly get right. Effective leadership isn’t just about knowing the numbers or making big decisions—it’s about understanding people, motivating them and creating an environment where everyone can thrive. That’s where emotional intelligence, especially empathy, comes into play.
More and more companies are realizing that emotional intelligence is just as important as technical expertise. Leaders who excel in EI are better at navigating tough situations, resolving conflicts and making decisions that benefit the team as a whole. They also create a work culture where people feel supported and heard—key ingredients for inclusion.
Empathy Vs. Sympathy: Understanding The Difference And Its Impact On Leadership
Let’s talk about empathy and sympathy for a second. While both involve emotional responses, they are very different and understanding that difference can make a huge impact on leadership.
Empathy is when you truly try to understand and share the feelings of someone else. You’re not just hearing their words—you’re putting yourself in their shoes. A leader who practices empathy listens closely, validates the emotions of their team members, and takes those feelings into account when making decisions. Empathy is about connection and shared understanding.
Sympathy, on the other hand, is more about feeling sorry for someone. It’s that “I feel bad for you” reaction. While sympathy can show care, it tends to create emotional distance rather than connection. It might sound something like, "I’m so sorry you’re going through this," but it doesn’t involve actively understanding the person’s experience.
To give you a concrete example, think about the California wildfires. If a leader is sympathetic, they might say, “I’m so sorry that people are losing their homes. That’s terrible.” While that shows concern, it’s more about offering pity from a distance.
An empathetic leader, though, would take it a step further: “I can’t imagine what you must be going through, and I want to make sure you feel supported during this time. How can we help?” They would take the time to understand the emotional toll it’s taking, connect with those affected and offer tangible support.
In addition, empathy is not just reserved for victims of or receivers of harm. It is also helpful when offered to other leaders—taking time to understand, putting yourself in their impossible shoes after a hard decision is made. Again, we can point to the challenges in California where leaders are facing harsh critique within devastating outcomes.
In the workplace, empathetic leaders are the ones who don’t just feel bad for employees when something goes wrong—they understand what it feels like to be in that position and respond in a way that supports the team. This makes a world of difference when it comes to inclusion. Empathetic leaders create an environment where everyone feels safe to express themselves, knowing they’ll be heard and respected.
The Role Of Emotional Intelligence In Building Inclusive Leadership
Leaders with emotional intelligence can pick up on the emotional pulse of their teams. This allows them to make decisions that create more inclusive spaces, where everyone’s voice is valued. It’s not just about addressing diversity—it’s about ensuring that everyone feels they belong and that their contributions matter.
Emotionally intelligent leaders create what’s called “psychological safety” for their teams. This means employees feel comfortable speaking up, sharing ideas and being themselves without the fear of judgment. When leaders practice empathy, they make this psychological safety possible. And this doesn’t just improve the workplace culture—it leads to better team collaboration, more innovative ideas and stronger performance overall.
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