Work-Life Rhythm In The IT Channel: ‘Can I Have More Without Losing Everything Else?’
We tell women to lean in, but we rarely ask whether the structure they’re leaning into is built to hold them.
Let’s start with a simple truth: the phrase work-life balance often feels like a luxury. And for many women in the IT channel, it’s a moving target—shifting with every reorg, every market downturn, every family emergency, every opportunity.
Take Elena, a fictional—but deeply familiar—senior director of channel marketing. With 15 years in the channel, she’s a top performer. She travels for work, raises two kids, mentors other women, and recently took on caregiving responsibilities for her aging in-laws. She hasn’t had a raise beyond cost-of-living in two years.
Not because she’s underperforming. But because she’s exhausted. She’s doing the work of three people after the last round of layoffs. She doesn’t have time to think, let alone advocate for herself.
Sound familiar?
Data Meets Lived Experience
Last year marked the 10th anniversary of the LeanIn.Org and McKinsey & Company “Women in the Workplace” study, and the findings were sobering:
- 43 percent of women leaders report being burned out, compared to just 31 percent of men.
- While flexibility has improved, career advancement has stalled. The pipeline to leadership remains leaky—especially for women of color.
- And more recently, April’s U.S. jobs report revealed a troubling shift: the unemployment rate for Black women jumped a full percentage point, rising to 6.1 percent in April from 5.1 percent in March, representing over 106,000 jobs lost in a single month (Black Enterprise, 2024).
Elena’s story isn’t an outlier. It’s a composite of hundreds of real women who responded to this year’s Women of the Channel survey. The majority of respondents were mid-career professionals averaging 14 years in the channel—most of them vendors. And the message was clear: progress is uneven.
Flexibility Is Not the Same As Fairness
Yes, more companies are offering remote and hybrid options. But as Elena knows, flexibility often just means the ability to work longer hours at home. And when flexibility replaces structural support—like formal mentorship, clear pathways to promotion, or real leadership development—we mistake survival for success.
In fact, our latest Channel survey showed:
- Mentorship and coaching are shrinking, even as demand grows.
- Women want measured leadership development—not just yoga stipends and wellness apps.
- And many feel silenced in conversations about equity—afraid to bring up gender, race, or bias at work.
In other words, the systems may be evolving, but they’re not transforming.
The Other Side Of The Story
Now let’s meet Marcus, our Man of the Channel. He’s single, 38 and just got offered a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity: the chance to buy the MSP where he’s worked for five years. On paper, he’s winning.
But Marcus is working 70-hour weeks. He hasn’t been on a date in months. He wants to build a family someday—but watching his CEO burn out is giving him pause.
Just like Elena, Marcus is asking: Can I have more without losing everything else?
These aren’t just personal reflections—they’re structural signals. Our work systems are optimized for output, not humanity. And while men and women face different barriers, both are questioning the cost of ambition.
The Tension Behind The Titles
Here’s the kicker: men are still unsure there’s a gender pay gap. But according to the U.S. Department of Labor, women on average earn 84 cents for every dollar earned by men. For Black women, it’s 66 cents. For Latinas, 52 cents.
At current rates, white women won’t reach pay parity until 2047, and women of color will wait until well past 2100.
So, when women say they’re tired of fighting, they mean it. And when men say they’re unsure what success should look like, they’re not just being indecisive—they’re being honest.
What Now?
Here’s the invitation: Instead of asking women to keep adapting, let’s ask organizations to evolve.
Let’s start with:
- Measured Mentorship: Track participation, outcomes, and promotion rates. Make mentorship a business case—not a buzzword.
- Leadership Development for All Women: Especially those who aren’t already being tapped for fast-track programs.
- Culture Audits: If unresolved conflict is rampant—and 60 percent say it is—leaders must normalize discomfort and feedback, not just forced positivity.
- Financial Wellness Check-Ins: As my grandmother used to say, every woman needs mad money—for when her partner goes mad, or she does. That’s not just cute advice. It’s a call for autonomy.
And most importantly: we must center lived experiences, not just ROI.
Because data is powerful—but only when paired with humanity.
Reflection For The Road
In my session at Women of the Channel West, I asked the room to rate five areas:
- Work Rhythm
- Support Network
- Boundaries
- Mentorship
- Financial Wellness
Then I asked: What’s one area you’re proud of? What’s one that needs love?
That’s your strategy for Q3. Not just goals on paper—but personal metrics for meaning.
Because in the end, balance isn’t a destination—it’s a rhythm. One that deserves our attention, our honesty, and our protection.