Qualcomm, in its first at bat in the lead-off keynote spot at CES, delivered a performance that still has people scratching their heads in confusion -- that is, those people who aren't still rolling around on the floor and laughing at the ridiculousness that took place on stage.

The keynote, themed "Born Mobile," began with a series of overblown archetypical characters -- a vapid, social-media-crazy teenage girl, a video-game-obsessed guy, and a hard-driving, get-out-of-my-way-or-I'll-steamroll-you entrepreneur type -- talking about how using mobile devices makes their lives better.

Then, Qualcomm CEO Paul Jacobs appeared in a beam of light to deliver the news on his company's SnapDragon processor upgrade. Later, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer made a cameo, and so did Big Bird and a bunch of other public figures seemingly chosen at random to help jazz up the proceedings.